When a girl is born, she has all the eggs she will ever produce. That number decreases over time and eventually disappears before menopause. Typically, the number of eggs decreases significantly by age 30 and may start to decline in quality. It’s important to note that other women may experience this decline even sooner. However, it has been said, the best time to conceive is between late 20s and early 30s.
This would explain why I inquired about fertility options with my gynecologist in my early 30s. I had expressed my desire to have children, but wanted to be married first. I asked about egg freezing to determine if it was a potential option. My doctor recommended I wait until age 35 to consider this option, based on a higher risk of decline in egg count and quality around that age. She referred me to a fertility specialist, who I met within a month later, to learn more about egg freezing and any other options specifically available to me.
During this time, I was in an active relationship, but had not shared my fertility plans with him. It was a decision I made independently because it was important to me that I maintain control of my own fertility preservation. Coincidentally, he and I met for lunch the same day as the appointment with the fertility specialist. He knew I'd had a doctor’s appointment, but didn’t know the specifics. He asked if everything went well at my appointment. Then, I explained that I’d met with a fertility specialist. He offered to help me conceive. My desire was neither to conceive outside of marriage nor was I interested in rushing into marriage. I declined his offer. There was no pressure applied and had he not asked about my appointment, I likely wouldn’t have shared any information at all.
I decided to pause on my research temporarily as I trusted my gynecologist’s recommendation to wait until I was closer to 35 years old. Though I was not actively pursuing, my faith allowed me to keep my options open to the possibility of falling in love, getting married and starting a family the traditional way. So, I allowed life to happen.
A couple of years passed. By this time, I was approaching my mid 30s. I returned to the fertility specialist for a virtual consultation. I was armed with questions. I asked questions for over an hour. He, also, assigned a nurse to follow up with me. I was able to ask more questions and spent approximately another hour with her. I’m grateful for the patience and knowledge of medical professionals in this field of expertise. All of my questions were answered with specific details to ease my concerns.
Having all I needed to make an informed decision, I paid a deposit and reserved my space on the physician’s calendar two months in advance. For those of us who don’t have insurance to cover this type of care, the process could cost approximately $10,000 to $12,000. I am aware of how fortunate I am to have had those resources saved and readily available. I wish our healthcare system provided broader coverage to include fertility options for all women, without concern for out-of- pocket expenses. Perhaps with more awareness around the need, we can hope for an expansion of coverage in the near future. As for me, the future is now, and I couldn’t wait any longer.
January 2022 became the target month for my egg retrieval. With this date in mind, December 2021 proved to be a busy month, full of new experiences and educating friends and family about my egg freezing journey. I began taking birth control to prepare my body for what was to come. Also, I maintained a moderate diet of healthy foods including non-alcoholic and non-caffeinated drinks. While it’s not mandatory, I chose to treat my body delicately, in hopes of producing high quality eggs.
Speaking of delicacy, my physician limited my physical activity to lifting nothing over 10 pounds. That proved to be more challenging than I had anticipated, because I’m very active and enjoy lifting weights. I also have stairs in my home and found I needed to be careful about bending and carrying items up and down the stairs.
Being mindful of this, a friend stopped by one evening to help me lift and bring groceries inside. I’m grateful for a strong support system in both words and actions. I would need both in the coming weeks as I began injections.
I received my stimulation injections and trigger shot January 6th and was cleared to introduce my body to hormones the following Monday, January 10th. I, physically and mentally, prepared myself for this new chapter in my life. I wanted all of my spare time and attention over the next couple of weeks to be focused on this journey. My commitment to this journey was stronger than any I’ve had before.
I felt several changes were necessary to preserve the peace I desired during this time. Eager to do so, I changed my phone number, became selective about who I spent time with and engaged in positive activities, exclusively. Self-care has always been important to me, but I made it more of a priority. I wanted to be present in the moment and seize every opportunity to listen to my body and protect my mental health. I am a firm believer that positive mental health influences positive physical health. It was the one thing I could control and chose to do so on my own terms.
As I mentioned above, the total number of eggs I have was predetermined. I felt the least I could do was to protect my mind, body and soul to provide the healthiest environment needed for my eggs to mature and maintain their quality. Now that my physical body has been cleared and I’m mentally prepared, I began to administer injections to increase chances of achieving my goal of 30 viable mature eggs to retrieve.
I look forward to sharing more with you about my retrieval process. I’d also like to introduce you to some of the ladies in my support system who surrounded me with unconditional love. Until then, protect your peace and your body so it remains the temple God created it to be.
- Constance Latimore
Thank you for sharing this beautiful experience!